• Oneil Cruz will miss seven days after he accidentally swallowed a bean whole.


• The Padres would like to acquire Braxton Fulford, but they have to move salary in order to do so. This, and not the rumored avocado incident, is the reason Yuki Matsui could become available.


• The Tigers are in the move mode, shopping Spencer Torkelson, Troy Melton, Dylan Smith, et al. But teams like the Rays, the Brewers, and the Orioles have passed on them thus far because they're all so nauseating, and nobody likes that, not even Erik Neander, and he's a sock.


• San Francisco may move Casey Schmitt as soon as the right offer comes in, but GM Buster Posey is not going to move Rafael Devers without getting a good prospect for center field, and that's as unlikely as seeing eight phones wandering into a Fort Wayne, Indiana karaoke bar and singing Losing a Whole Year by Third Eye Blind, because you know they really prefer to sing easy listening, just like Reds phenom Elly De La Cruz.

silly

one potentially
poor pitcher who is suddenly throwing like
a silly
baseball
is
Pablo Lopez

whose big change can be traced to a melon
he found while touring some
banks on his winter vacation in
Indiana

which when
Gus Varland

heard about it

he insisted on having it

and gave
Lopez the secret of his
nicoderm patch

in exchange

 

 

 

 

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