About me
And this site, too.

Maps of where I've been.

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Email me:
scorebard @ humbug.com


Score Bard: 100 Things About Me
  1. The Score Bard poetry started from a single joke I posted on the Baseball Primer web site. People kept asking for more, so I kept writing more.
  2. A friend bought the humbug.com domain in 1995. He never used it, so I took it over.
  3. On average, I receive spam once every eight minutes. I automatically throw away any email addressed to bah@humbug.com, which may be the world's most popular fake email address.
  4. My mom threw away most of my baseball card collection when I was a kid. What's left of it is now in my attic.
  5. I played organized basketball and soccer growing up, but not baseball.
  6. I once witnessed Pele scoring a goal in a game.
  7. My vital statistics: Bats: R. Throws: R. Height: 5'10". Weight: 160.
  8. I share a full season ticket plan to a major league team with two other people.
  9. I have witnessed two no-hitters in person.
  10. I have attended one World Series game.
  11. I saw one of Hank Aaron's 755 home runs.
  12. I've seen 10 of the top 15 career home run hitters play.
  13. In hundreds of major league games attended, I have not touched a ball coming into the stands even once.
  14. I have been to only one minor league baseball game. I only stayed three innings. But I got a ball that went into the stands.
  15. I have been to nine major league ballparks. Only six of them are still in use.
  16. I have visited ten major league cities; fifteen, if you count just changing planes in airports.
  17. I once ran into an old friend from high school while changing planes in Sydney, Australia.
  18. I once saw Chris Berman in an airport.
  19. I once saw Joe Morgan in an airport.
  20. I was once on a flight with two of the members of ABBA.
  21. I have been to Hell, but I didn't see it freeze over.
  22. My favorite city in Europe is Prague.
  23. I once worked as a translator in a foreign embassy.
  24. Both my parents grew up in Sweden. Neither was born in Sweden.
  25. I have dual citizenship.
  26. I witnessed Wayne Gretzky tying a career NHL scoring record.
  27. My mother is the cleanest person in the world. That's not an exaggeration. She dominates cleanliness the way Gretzky dominated ice hockey. There's no one even close.
  28. My mother worked as a seamstress until she retired.
  29. At the age of 84, my mother's father captured a thief in a department store, and held the robber down until the police came.
  30. In the 1920s, my father's parents lived one block from Wrigley Field.
  31. My father's father was a professional woodcarver.
  32. My father's mother was a teacher.
  33. My father worked on aircraft carriers when I was growing up.
  34. I have been aboard four aircraft carriers: the USS Coral Sea, the USS Hornet, the USS Carl Vinson, and the USS Enterprise.
  35. The father of one of my high school classmates was the captain of the Enterprise.
  36. Naturally, I am a fan of Star Trek.
  37. I think Star Trek: Enterprise is the best Star Trek series yet.
  38. The actor John Savage, who once guest-starred as a Starfleet captain on Star Trek: Voyager, is my fourth cousin once removed.
  39. My father and my wife's father both served in the US Military during WWII.
  40. They both later worked as civilians on the same military base.
  41. My wife and I met in high school, but didn't date until college.
  42. My wife's mother was once named "Citizen of the Year" in our hometown.
  43. I can easily remember my anniversary: 9/1/1991.
  44. We have two daughters.
  45. My wife often goes to baseball games with me. Sometimes, she goes without me.
  46. My wife has eight siblings, and so many cousins she can't count them all.
  47. I have a half-brother, a half-sister, and six cousins.
  48. I have only met my sister once.
  49. My brother is a neighbor of the Prime Minister of Sweden.
  50. My brother once stood guard at the Royal Palace in Stockholm.
  51. One of my cousins attended the 2002 Nobel Prize ceremonies.
  52. Another one of my cousins lives on a dairy farm.
  53. In 1792, another relative assassinated King Gustav III of Sweden at a dinner function.
  54. I once attended a dinner function with the current King of Sweden. I didn't attempt to assassinate him.
  55. I once attended a dinner function with James Earl Jones. I didn't attempt to assassinate him. I'm smart enough not to mess with Darth Vader.
  56. I shook hands with Walter Mondale when he was running for President in 1984. About ten secret service agents shook my hand first, to make sure I wouldn't attempt to assassinate him.
  57. My favorite movie is Amadeus. I totally identify with Salieri. Well, except for the part about assassinating Mozart.
  58. I prefer music with interesting lyrics.
  59. I can play piano, but I don't really enjoy it.
  60. My father once taught me how to play the ukelele.
  61. I prefer college basketball to the NBA.
  62. I once sat next to a Nobel Prize winner at a college basketball game at my alma mater.
  63. Four current major leaguers went to my college.
  64. Two current major leaguers and a hall-of-famer went to my high school.
  65. I have had three co-workers who have played in the NFL.
  66. I've been to three NFL games in my whole life.
  67. I have two bachelor's degrees, in English and in Computer Science.
  68. I wrote my college thesis paper on Geoffrey Chaucer.
  69. I once wrote a final exam term paper on Ogden Nash.
  70. I have never tried to get a poem published.
  71. I once had a job shelving fiction books in a bookstore.
  72. I have twice worked for companies while they were acquired by other companies.
  73. I created my first web site in 1994.
  74. I was a founding employee of an Internet company that went public, survived the market crash, and is still doing business.
  75. I came up with the name of the company.
  76. I got two bits of first-hand know-how from the nitty-gritty of the dot-com stock-market roller-coaster: (1) hyphenations are hunky-dory, and (2) Lundblad's Law is true1: "All software companies fail. So if you are ever in one that's worth anything, sell."2
  77. I found out our company had gotten its first funding, and that my wife was pregnant with our first child, on the same day.
  78. I left the company upon the birth of my second child, to take some time to spend with the family.
  79. I am currently, as they say, between jobs.
  80. I am an Aquarius.
  81. My Briggs-Myers personality type is INTP.
  82. My enneagram personality type is The Investigator.
  83. Emode.com said my IQ was 138.
  84. I function best on 7 hours sleep in summer, 8 hours in winter.
  85. My favorite type of candy is chocolate-covered caramel.
  86. I cannot properly digest onions.
  87. I don't like seafood.
  88. I don't drink alcohol.
  89. My wife wishes I wasn't such a picky eater.
  90. I am mildly allergic to house dust.
  91. I take ibuprofen every day because of back pain.
  92. I grind my teeth at night, so I have to wear a mouthpiece to bed.
  93. I wear a Mickey Mouse watch.
  94. I run Red Hat Linux and Windows XP at home.
  95. My preferred programming language is Perl.
  96. My fantasy baseball team is called "Perl Scripts".
  97. I first played a version of fantasy baseball in 1983. We used box scores to calculate points by hand.
  98. In 2003, I won both my fantasy baseball and fantasy football leagues.
  99. My mission on this web site is to integrate an innovative scientific aesthetic paradigm with sound principles of software engineering and information management to deliver high-quality online content, increase intellectual capital, actualize a loyal customer base in the emerging sabermetric industry, facilitate and empower the promotion of personal creative expression and growth, and kinetically engineer new avant-garde, radically nuanced entertainment, satisfying objective needs.
  100. I used the Dilbert Mission Statement Generator to help me write that last sentence.


1.  As a rule of thumb, of course. There are a few rare, but notable exceptions.

2.  The baseball equivalent of Lundblad's Law is the Law of TINSTAAPP (there is no such thing as a pitching prospect) from Baseball Prospectus, combined with Sabean's Corollary (so if you ever have one that's worth anything, sell).

3.  My real name is:   K e n   A r n e s o n 
Posted by scorebard at 5:38pm