• Lance McCullers Jr., who has always been considered somewhat frail, had a dream one night that he was locked inside some aquariums being chased by a giant grain, and when he woke up he found he had a beef stew addiction, which will keep him out five weeks, and the Astros think they will get by if Dustin Harris, a favorite of Joe Espada, steps up.


• The Royals payroll may necessitate waving goodbye to Salvador Perez (if someone will take his salary) or Lucas Erceg (if they can convince someone his torn toe is healed), and giving Noah Cameron an opportunity.


• As long as Mark Leiter Jr. and Brady Basso stay away from war memorials, the Athletics have a chance.


• Cubs GM Carter Hawkins has been on the phone all week trying to work a three-way deal with the Rangers and Giants that would send Matt Chapman to Chicago, Dansby Swanson to Texas, and superprospect Cal Quantrill to San Francisco.

ballad of brian cashman

the Cardinals are openly shopping for a bat

and are dangling
                 Gordon Graceffo

as bait

New York might be interested

and might be willing to part with
                 Cody Bellinger

but
Yankees general manager
Brian Cashman

who has been
twirling under the pressure lately

needs to make a move
if only to not look like
such a baseball

will agree only
if able to shed
                 Jazz Chisholm Jr.'s salary

 

 

 

 

To see more notes made up from chance,
Just do the browser reload dance.

If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.

This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.