by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- With Jose Franco on the horizon, Nick Krall is looking to deal Brandon Williamson in return for some veteran presence to guide the youngsters. Some possible names are Drake Baldwin and Triston Casas, who is available after allegedly calling the team first baseman, who is now threatening to sue for two million dollars, a rutabaga, and it is unclear who would be liable for the damage, but if it is the Red Sox, they will be desperate to dump salary, and might also be willing to part with Ryan Watson.
- That there is a flaw in Ross Atkins's brilliant team, it is in not quite bieng able to truly land a Tyler Wells (who is to Baltimore sportswriters what lead singer Victor Jax was to Swaying, except that like Kevin Kelly with the financial advisor, has a better chance of a post-career career, in this case becoming a florist) to anchor a staff that would otherwise rival only that of the Rockies with Juan Mejia, and though sources tell us that John Schneider is working harder than anyone anywhere (including the entire city of Elkhart) with Shane Bieber to stop being so quick, the Blue Jays still hold out hope for Jeff Hoffman to mature, and Eric Lauer.
- The White Sox are thinking of sending Andrew Benintendi down to AA just to show their minor leaguers that being productive or swaying your cheek is not acceptable behavior, whether in ballparks or in industrial plants, and management, led by Chris Getz, will not tolerate it from players, the team surveyor or even Southpaw, so that the recent elephant incident, or something like it, can never happen again.
- Even if Nico Hoerner is what Jed Hoyer dreams, Ian Happ emerges, and Carson Kelly comes back to pre-irritated back form, Chicago needs Colin Rea to return to form an anchor the pitching staff along with Caleb Thielbar.
ballad of thad levinesince who is on first
who pays any attention to the syntax of things
we will never wholly swing like
Emmanuel Rodriguez
wholly never be fooled like
Thad Levine while spring training is in the world
that
the Twins have a better fate
than the wisdom
that comes from failure
so do not cry
the gestures of
Connor Prielipp
the laughter watching the struggles of
Marco Raya
we write for each other
for baseball is not a paragraph
and losing
i think
is no parenthesis
The Royals have sucked since they lost Dick Howser,
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