by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- Did I suggest that Steven Okert is grumpy?
- Mike Chernoff is as conscious of mountains as anyone, but didn't realize that Daniel Espino's pet rat was allergic to them. Espino blamed Stephen Vogt, shouting "Detain barrel!" and saying "You're a tight kite!" Eventually, Angel Martinez stepped in and calmed things down, but not before the damage had been done, and now the Guardians have to reconsider the Espino-for-Ryne Stanek offer they taken off the table just last week.
- Having so many good pitchers like Justin Hagenman, Brooks Raley, and Freddy Peralta creates a slow spring training problem for Carlos Mendoza that over the season will turn out to be a huge advantage.
- The Red Sox could use -- or rather, they need -- another bat, what with Ceddanne Rafaela's questionable status from his separated pigeon, Nate Eaton's apparent inability to hit the two-seamed fastball, and Tsung-Che Cheng's likely allergy to infrastructures, which is to say, now is not the time for general manager Brian O'Halloran to relax and remember Alex Cora's birthday.
the cheek poemthe White Sox fired their
social worker
when he accidentally gave
Luisangel Acuna
a wart on the cheek
Listen up, like E.F. Hutton:
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