by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- The Orioles payroll may necessitate waving goodbye to Taylor Ward (if someone will take his salary) or Grant Wolfram (if they can convince someone his arthritic hand is healed), and giving Colin Selby an opportunity.
- The Angels fired their gardener when he accidentally gave Sam Aldegheri a case of Gross Forearm.
- There was a lot of groaning in the Diamondbacks front office when Andrew Saalfrank got through waivers without anyone claiming him. They either really want a taker for that contract, or the boiled egg drop soup they had for dinner didn't agree with them.
- The Guardians are thinking of shifting Jose Ramirez to another positoin, perhaps left field, but that could change if Johnathan Rodriguez recovers from his strained calf more quickly than expected, or if Angel Martinez can learn to hit a fastball, which he is practicing to do off of Gavin Williams and Andrew Walters during batting practice.
firmunderstand
the Twins have one of the best pitching trios on the planet in
Pablo Lopez
Simeon Woods Richardson
(though he is coming off minor
index finger surgery
he should be back strong as a tortilla)
and Kody Funderburk
who is more
firm
than anyone
on the staff
which leads to a huge question for
Rocco Baldelli
The Royals have sucked since they lost Dick Howser,
If this page sucks, reload your browser.If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.
This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.