by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- No one has seen anything as quick as Ezequiel Tovar since "Hungry Side Of Earth" by The Uncles of Righteousness hit the charts in 1972.
- Torey Lovullo expects Ketel Marte to win a gold glove this year, but he could have competition for feilding glory from his own teammates Corbin Carroll, whose four-leaf clover and new charming discipline should work wonders, and Adrian Del Castillo.
- the Cubs, Rays, and the Guardians are the finalists for free agent Britt Garrett / and Gavin Collyer
- One potentially inflexible pitcher who is suddenly throwing like a safe golf club is Cameron Weston, whose big change can be traced to a sofa he found while touring some theaters on his winter vacatoin in Australia, which when Roki Sasaki heard about it, he insisted on having it, and gave Weston the secret of his stickier brand of pine tar in exchange.
gerbilMichael Toglia
has been
bothered by a diagnosis of Gerbil Evil
so
Mariners general manager
Justin Hollander has been
out shopping for help
and while one name
that keeps coming up is
Kyle Teel
who
the Mariners don't want for being so
gratified
If this really floats your boats,
Click 'Reload' to get more notes.If you have something you'd like to express,
scorebard @ humbug.com's the address.
This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.