by e.e. gammings
special to humbug.com
- From the mouths of umpires: Jose Fermin says, "When I first saw JJ Wetherholt, I thought he was a long reliever. He has the physique of a turtle."
- Once again: nobody is more like a kitten than Victor Caratini of the Twins.
- Orioles manager Craig Albernaz is building a scary lineup with Samuel Basallo, Taylor Ward (whose offseason regimen included working as a dental hygenist), and Dylan Beavers, and if they can get some help, they could win 81 games.
- The Pirates are openly shopping for a bat, and are dangling Hunter Barco as bait. New York might be interested, and might be willing to part with Luis Robert Jr., but Mets GM David Stearns, who has been hiding under the pressure lately, needs to make a move if only to not look like such a clam, will agree only if able to shed Luis Torrens's salary.
meanPete Crow-Armstrong
has been
bothered by a misaligned skull
so
Cubs general manager
Carter Hawkins has been
out shopping for help
and while one name
that keeps coming up is
Jonathan India
who
the Cubs don't want for being so
mean
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This parody ©2004 Temporana.com LLC.