February 06, 2004

Primey Nomination.

A best weblog nomination?
I think it's just an aberration.
When compared to Diamond Mind,
My work is surely less refined.
For business you can turn to Pappas
He's the best one to recap us.
When you need a baseball muse
With David Pinto you can't lose.
And those guys up in Seattle
Can give anyone a battle.
Although I'm certain I'm the rhymiest,
I doubt my humbug is the Primiest.
I think my chances are remote,
But still, I wouldn't mind your vote.

Posted at 08:45 AM by scorebard.    Comments (0)

February 04, 2004

Boston Signs Burks.

The Red Sox are bringing back Ellis:
"We're hoping that he can propellis
Into winning a ring
With his masterful swing
And make all those Yankee fans jellis."

Posted at 04:32 PM by scorebard.    Comments (0)

January 29, 2004

Yank 3B Hurts Knee.

The covetous Yankee community
Drools at their new opportunity
For their gluttonous Boss
To grab Chavez or Glaus
And fill up their unAaron-Boonity.

Posted at 11:44 AM by scorebard.    Comments (1)

January 26, 2004

Jesse Orosco Retires.

When first we saw Jesse Orosco
Brezhnev was ruling in Mosco.
We had no CDs
VCRs or PCs,
And no one bought bulk yet at Costco.

When age strikes our current young stars
Maybe we'll drive flying cars.
We'll all watch TV
As the Expos play home games on Mars.

To say where the future will go
Is hard, but there's one thing I know:
There will still be a need
To genetically breed
Orosco-like lefties who throw.

Posted at 07:55 AM by scorebard.    Comments (1)

January 22, 2004

Aboriginal elders to outlaw humbug.

There is a movement afoot in Darwin, Australia to make humbug illegal:

"Humbug is, I suppose, being a public nuisance, being a nuisance to the community, going out of your way to give people a hard time, people that you don't even know," NT Minister Assisting on Indigenous Affairs Jack Ah Kit said.
I'm sorry; I never realized.

Posted at 08:05 PM by scorebard.    Comments (2)

January 18, 2004

Strange Dream.

Monday is Martin Luther King Day. King had a dream which inspired millions. My dreams, on the other hand, make no sense at all. Can anyone make sense out of this one I had last night?

I was on a train headed due east out of Berlin. I expect the trip to be long and boring, but occasionally, in the mountainous regions, the track twists and turns and even goes upside-down like a roller-coaster. I marvel at the quality of German engineering.

The land turns flat again, and to avoid boredom, I turn on a TV. They're showing the final meeting of the 2004 season between the Giants and Padres, in San Diego. John Madden is doing the color, and Steve Young, wearing his full 49er uniform (shoulder pads and all), is a guest commentator.

The Giants are leading in the bottom of the ninth, but the Padres have loaded the bases. With two outs, Matt Williams, somehow unretired, is sent in to pinch hit. He hits low line drive to the opposite field, barely fair over the low right field fence. Grand slam! The Padres win! The Padres clinch the NL West! The Giants, dejected, are left only with the slim hope that they can pass the Cubs for the wild card spot.

I look out over the German landscape rushing past the window of my seat on the train. I wonder if I can see any fireworks from the celebrations in San Diego. Instead, something begins to emerge from the clouds like ghostly angels: the giant floating heads of Julie Andrews, Florence Henderson, and Angela Lansbury, singing songs of glorious celebration. God, it occurs to me, must be a Padres fan.

Now, I ask you: what the heck can this dream mean?

Posted at 01:59 PM by scorebard.    Comments (0)

January 17, 2004

Battle for the Super Bowl.

New England confronts Indiana.
McNabb tries to be Joe Montana.
But what I never know
From this NFL show
Is how it affects Frank Tanana.

Posted at 04:15 PM by scorebard.    Comments (0)

January 15, 2004


I just discovered an HTML typo in my photo essay that left many of you unable to view it. Please try again, and accept my apologies.

Posted at 08:36 AM by scorebard.    Comments (0)

January 14, 2004

More iPods.

Most poetry bores me. A poem about the poet's lover or parents: I can't even read more than a line or two. If it's about nature: rocks, trees, rain, snow--I reach for my mental remote control. Not interested.

But poems about iPods and DSL connections? Now we're talking!

Mike Snider is bravely attempting to write a sonnet a day. The results are admirably good. A daily sonnet can't be much more than a rough draft, yet Snider makes them sound as easy and natural as a guy telling you a story over the watercooler. That's not easy to do.

So even if you don't usually like poetry, I suggest you give these ones a try.

Posted at 12:15 AM by scorebard.    Comments (3)